[pfsb] in search of understanding
Mar. 31st, 2021 04:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lightamidchaosIt had been difficult for him to leave Wei Ying at the inn this morning, but Lan Wangji knows that if he does not appear to speak with Xichen as expected, things will be far, far worse.
Still, it had been incredibly hard. Don’t go, Wei Ying had whispered the night before, and Lan Wangji could see the unvoiced plea in his eyes as he kissed him goodbye at the door. He had answered it in the only way he could, kissing him back with promise, trying to reassure him in silence without calling out the fear that hangs over them.
He cannot stay. He has to go. If it were only him, if he were a rogue cultivator, it would be different, but he is not. He is the Second Jade of Lan, Hanguang-jun, and his responsibilities lie beyond himself alone. Lan Wangji walks through the door of the inn and back into Cloud Recesses not for his own sake, but for A-Yuan’s, and for his brother’s, and for the sake of the only hope he has of somehow finding a path through everything.
It is early still when he steps into the Jingshi. He takes only long enough to change clothes into some of his best, most formal robes before he leaves it again, moving through Cloud Recesses with smooth, brisk steps. He does not violate the rule against undue haste, but he wastes no time in making his way to his brother’s Hanshi.
Lan Wangji draws a single quiet breath, then knocks.
Still, it had been incredibly hard. Don’t go, Wei Ying had whispered the night before, and Lan Wangji could see the unvoiced plea in his eyes as he kissed him goodbye at the door. He had answered it in the only way he could, kissing him back with promise, trying to reassure him in silence without calling out the fear that hangs over them.
He cannot stay. He has to go. If it were only him, if he were a rogue cultivator, it would be different, but he is not. He is the Second Jade of Lan, Hanguang-jun, and his responsibilities lie beyond himself alone. Lan Wangji walks through the door of the inn and back into Cloud Recesses not for his own sake, but for A-Yuan’s, and for his brother’s, and for the sake of the only hope he has of somehow finding a path through everything.
It is early still when he steps into the Jingshi. He takes only long enough to change clothes into some of his best, most formal robes before he leaves it again, moving through Cloud Recesses with smooth, brisk steps. He does not violate the rule against undue haste, but he wastes no time in making his way to his brother’s Hanshi.
Lan Wangji draws a single quiet breath, then knocks.
